Life on the road is not easy. The simple things in life that you take for granted simply do not exist. Things like spotless bathrooms, clean laundry, kitchens with all the mod cons are not part of our budget senario. We are managing but home is beginning to seem like a mighty cool place. Living continiously out of a bag is dodgy at the best of times but we seem to be losing more and more “stuff” in the depths of our bags daily. Packing and unpacking every day is nothing more than a pain in the ass.
We have a sort of Gaza strip forming in our car. You know that small peice on the back seat inbetween the seating place. There is just a continious war over this 5cm piece of fabric and sponge. All the time we hear “JAMIE THAT IS MY SIDE OF THE CAR” or “MOOOOOOMMMMM ROSIE HAS HER STUFF ON MY SIDE”. We decide for our second day of Kruger to call a cease fire and split the forces. I went to the back seat and one kid in the front. Firstly this just opened another round of “Howcome he gets to sit in the front??????” or “she’s had five minutes more than me” but after a while we got into a rythym and it was quiet and fun.
Kruger has a list of rules longer than the Magna Carte. And it seems that any breaking of the rules will result in a R 2 500.00 fine. The biggest no-no is getting out of your car, you simply can’t do it.
Rest camps and get out points are hours apart and going to the loo is quite a problem. All good and well if it is the kids needing to go “Oh just hold it in for five minutes” but believe me when I need to go I need to go NOW!!!!!!
The system is quite simple.
1. Stop the car
2. Get the kids to point in a direction other than the door which you are going to open. (diversion tactic)
3. Pull your pants down BEFORE you open the door.
4. Check for cars
5. Poke your uncovered parts out of the car whist the rest of your body is INSIDE the car. Remember you pants are sort of round your thighs.
6. Pray there is no lions in the area.
8. Try and rotate yourself back into the car.
9. Put your pants back on.
This is the receipe for the best pee you will ever have.
There are two types of people who frequent Kruger – Smilers and non-smilers. Smilers wave at you and point to where they have seen game.
Non-smilers do Zip. They don’t wave, they dont acknowledge you waving, they dont smile actually they don’t do anything. I have no idea why they are in Kruger, they certainly are not enjoying themselves.
Another big no-no is not being out of the gate at closing time. Yep R 2500.00 fine so you simply have to be out of the park in time. Park distances may seem short but you can only drive 40 kmph and it takes AGES to go anywhere. Also remember we have not got daily accomodation. Today we ripped out of the park literally at closing time along with another car. Soon it became obvious that they also were looking for a joint to lay their weary heads (they also stopped at every tourism sign and phoned no. on sign). Just outside the Orpen gate there is a sign saying ANDOVER reserve. Both cars turned in at at the gate we asked for chalets. In chatting the driver of the other car asked “Where are you from?” after I told him he said that his daughter and brother lives in SFB – it turns out his daughter is my neighbour and his brother is one of our best friends – what a small world.
PS nothing to beat a sunset in the bush.