Once upon a time there was a man who loved to sail the seven seas, his name was Frans, Frans Drake.
Now back then, in once upon a time time, if you wanted to go sailing the seven seas, you had to go and ask the Queen, and if the Queen really smaaked you she would pay for your trip. (I like these Once upon a time people).
So off Frans Drake went to woo the Queen into giving him tons of her money in order for him to go sailing. So the Queen, being a Queen – also she thought Frans Drake was quite cute – decided to allow him to sail the seven seas whilst she kept an eye on the Kingdom.
She also allowed him to spend tons of his own money to build his own vessel (see January issue Sailing Magazine).
In addition to this Frans Drake was not satisfied with taking all the Queens money – he sets a plan in motion by asking her
FRANS DRAKE – Honey would you like to sail the seven seas on your December holiday?
QUEEN – Yes, Yes, Yes
Now Frans Drake has taken the Queens money, spent all his own and buggered up her vacation he is still not satisfied and he despatches his fastest messenger to his friend in a faraway land
Sir Bag-Shore Magellan.
A few weeks later, Sir Bag-Shore is wandering around his far-away-land of Come-Monkey, contemplating the meaning of life and a ruddy great messenger horse nearly knocks him down.
MESSENGER – Frans Drake has your requested your presence in sailing the seven seas
SIR BAG-SHORE – Yes, Yes, Yes
In the meantime, the Queen has realised there is one big problem, she has given Frans Drake a ton of money to sail the seven seas, he has spent his own money on building his vessel and now she had no money to take herself and the heirs to the throne on the trip.
She had the following choices:
1. Plunder a distant land
2. Charge more taxes to her subjects (this is how they did things in once upon a time land)
3. Rent out her castle over the holiday period…
After much deliberation she decides to rent out her castle ……… this is another tale.
Frans Drake is a West to East Man and Sir Bag-Shore Magellan is a East to West man ……. this is another tale.