MORNINGS VS MOURNINGS


To say the very least – school mornings in our house are not fun. In fact if you had to see an aerial view of our home in the mornings I have always pictured it to be a little like Bagdad at the height of the bombing – you know little phooffs of explosions lighting up the night (early morning) sky.

The whole morning war only revoloves around two people in the house – me telling Jamie to move himself faster and Jamie telling me to stop telling him what to do.

Picture the scene:
“Wake up Jamie”
“UUuuuuuurggggg”
“WAKE up Jamie”
“Grunt”
“WAKE UP Jamie”
“Ummmmphgruntphlipph”
“WAKEUPJAMIEORIMGOINGTOKNOCKYOUINTONEXTWEEKYOULITTLETWIT!!!!!”
“STOP BOSSING ME AROUND” – at least his eyes are open.
“Get up Jamie – NOW”
“Stop telling me what to do!”
“Go and Bath Jamie”
“Stop nagging me Mom”
“Please use the soap, shampoo, hurry up, wake up and get out”
“STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!!”

Well anyway you get the picture, poor Frans cowers under our pristene white duvet, and only gets up after we are well off the premises. Rosie gets her thing done very quickly and blocks the morning noise out with the TV.

I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!! ……. We have now set new rules for the morning.

MY JOBS

Wake up Jamie soothingly.
Tell him there is 5 minutes to go before we go.
Leave with or without him.

JAMIES JOBS

Accept being woken up smoothly
Give Mom a hug and a kiss good morning (pushing it a bit here)
Get into bath
Bath WITH SOAP
Wash hair
Brush teeth
Get dressed without asking Mom where his stuff is
Brush hair
Make Bed
Tidy room
Get breakfast
Eat breakfast (yep they do forget because they are so busy on their celphones)
Put breakfast dish in sink
Wash breakfast dish (got to be specific here because a dish in a sink means nothing without an instruction)
Pack schoolbag
Remember all his bitsies
Take vitamins
All of the above without fighting with Mom
Be in the car without being late.
Kiss Mom goodbye at the bus stop (never in a million years – wish I could pinpoint the exact moment when they stop kissing you goodbye)

So ……….. Monday morning comes, I get up, I bath. Rosie gets up, Rosie baths (so far so good). All I can talk about to Frans is whether or not I will have the guts to actually drive off without him.

Jamie gets woken up smoothly. “Morning Mom”, he then proceeds to bath (with soap – I smelt it), wash his hair, brush his teeth (I heard it), get dressed, clean his room, eat breakfast, clean his dishes, pack his bag and he got into the car before we even got downstairs.

Now, where am I going with all of this ….. ummmm…… I have got to eat some very bitter humble pie. I cannot believe the wasted hours I have spent screeching at Jamie in the morning. Lets work it out ….. 7.5 years x 200 school days per year x 1 hour of morning madness – this equalls a whopping 1 600 hours of yelling shouting and well just plain unpleasantness – I honestly think I did all the screeching because I thought it was the right Mom thing to do in the morning.

The whole day I felt calmer and at peace because I hadn’t hit the deck fighting at 5 am.

I don’t know how long Jamie can sustain this morning behaviour, or whether he will manage morning in and morning out to do everything on his list. He may even miss his lift every now and then, or forget his books, tie, pencil case or project. You know what? It will be OK because at least he would have left the house without his Fishmother (Fishwife – Fishmother?) moaning at him.

We have turned MOURNINGS into MORNINGS.

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