ITS ABOUT THE WHEEL


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I hate being late ……….. what I should say is HATE BEING LATE!!!!! 

If I am late for something/anthing I get into a sort of panic attack situation.  My throat closes, I start crying, my palms get all sweaty and I really just get very upset.  Its just really a hot mess if I am running late.

Anyway …….  On Saturday morning Jamie is riding in 2 man TT’s.  To the layman this is a road cycling thing where you have a two man teams, each team has their own start time and the team must go flet out for a certain distance and the fastest team wins.

We leave home well in time for Jamie to put his bike together and have at least a half and hour warm up.  Off we get to Greenbushes an area our side of Port Elizabeth.  And we simply cant find the venue.

We have a map and no phone call or studying of the map can help us find the place.  We even try following race arrow pointers and no way hoze can we find the place that should be quite easy to find because there will be hundreds of cars and even more cyclists.

I can feel my throat closing and the panic starting ……… I am in a mess ……. 20 minutes before Jamie is due to start we finally see a whole heap of cars in a totally random road.

We park at the end of the cue of cars and jump out of our car.  Jamie gets to the boot and takes his frame out the car.  He looks, double looks and his lip hits the pavement.

He says the dreaded words ………

“I’ve left my front wheel at home”.

Now if had just been Jamie at the race we would have packed our stuff and ridden out of Dodge.  But this was a team event, already Keith had been waiting patiently for Jamie to arrive ……….. and now to blast this on him just wasn’t fair.

There was just no way that we were going to let Jamie NOT ride this race.

I check down the road, there are loads of cyclists and loads of cars ……….. surely someone will have a spare front wheel for us!

I start running down the road loudly asking (read screeching) “Does anyone have a spare front wheel for us????”

Up and down I go ……. Lots of “no sorry”,  “I rode here” and “you dont have a helmet/cleat/ pump for us”.

Its beginning to look quite bleak.

I try again and run up the road, up the speedhumps, down the speedhumps and up up up the road.  People are beginning to look at me as if my own wheels have falled off.

Teams have already started racing.

About 1 km up the road, right at a speed hump a person says to me “I’ve got one”.

She hands me the wheel.

I stand on the speed hump and doing a sort of Mel Gibson Braveheart move, I hold the wheel up high and shout …. “JAMIE …………. WE HAVE A WHEEL”

Right at the end of the cars, very calmly, Jamie is getting dressed, Frans is mixing his energade …. all in the calm knowledge that Mom will sort this horrible situation out.

Frans looks up the road.

Jamie looks up the road.

Frans says nothing.

Jamie says, “I’m very happy Mom found a wheel but I wish she would stop screeching”

I cant talk anymore ………… I’m kaput!

The moral of the story ………… Well …………… when the wheels fall off shout for Mom.

The End.

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HOW TO BECOME HAPPY


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Yesterday I was sitting in my office.  The wind is howling, its cold ……. and to be quite honest I was feeling just a tad down about life.  My get up and go had got up and left.  I didnt want to feel this way – but I did.

So I googled, “how do I become happy” ……… in 0.34 seconds I had 438 000 000 hits.  Starting with the 7 steps to happiness up good old Wikihow’s 12 steps (with pictures nogal!) to happiness (love wikihow ………. it will teach you how to build a sandcastle and teach you how to be happy).

So this is what it said ……..

“Happiness – its what we all strive to find and keep.  Nobody is jolly all the time, but some are definitely more fullfilled than others.  Happiness has little to do with materialistic needs, goods, wants or high achievements, it boils down to your outlook on life, the quality of your relationships and basic amenities (ESKOM!!!!!).”  It then tells you to check step 1 and beyond for tips and tricks……

STEP ONE

BE OPTIMISTIC

Optimism seems to be ruled by your baseline of happiness, and each of us have our own baseline, and no matter what happens good or bad, these feelings of happiness or failure, will always revert back to our happiness baseline ………. which reminds me of a story ……

Every Friday I give the kids R20.00 each to buy lunch at school.  Now as we all know, in this day and age, 20 bucks doesnt get you very far.  Now because Rosie is in hostel (we will get to this story another time),  Jamie has the mammoth task of taking and delivering this 0.00000001 gram twenty buck note to his sister every Friday.

She is optimistic that on Friday ‘s  she will bring her tuck money to school.  He finds joy in telling us that she only talks to him at school when she wants money from him.

On the Friday in question Jamie doesnt eat breakfast, and by the time first break comes he is HUNGRY, and not normal hungry but cold 17 year old boy hungry, he is OPTIMISTIC that 40 bucks can buy him more than 20 bucks can and therefore will make him happy.

As he gets to the school tuckshop, he sees Rosie on a return trip with her arms FULL of tuck goodies, there are chips, sweets and fizzy cooldrinks.

She asks him “have you got money for me?”

He makes a snap decision, (a bad one), “No”, he answers, “Mom didnt give me this morning”.  Now Jamies optimism levels are running high, he knows, that Rosie will not tell on him because she doesnt tell on.  He also reasons that her arms are full of food that her baseline needs have been met and he has a bigger need for the money than she does.

The day carries on as normal.

At the dinner table I ask “Rosie did you get your lunch money?”

Dead silence.

I try a different tack.

“Jamie did you give Rosie her tuck money?”

Dead silence.

Now in our house dead silence is rare, and it normally means NO I DID NOT DO WHAT I WAS MEANT TO DO.

Jamie says “she already had money cause I saw her walking with a lot of food”;

Rosie says “while I was waiting for you I went and bought food for my  friends with their money”;

Jamie says ……….

Rosie says ………..

Jamie says …………

Rosie says ………

No winners here, except maybe Jamie because his first break happiness levels had been elevated, but now his happiness levels were well below his baseline because he had been caught.

Rosies baseline happiness levels were very low at first break, but now they were hitting the stratosphere because her brother because of his own actions was deep in the doo doo.

Anyway I digress …….. tiny tricks to being optimistic

*  Add up the little joyful things that happen during the day.  They are there just look for them.

*  Feel deeply grateful for the things you have.

*  Veiw the glass as half-full, rather than half-empty.

*  Put yourself in situation where favulous, fortunate things are likely to happen to you.  Its easier to remain optimistic if you set yourself up for success.  Cheating on your sister, or stealing a bicycle – whilst temporarily thrilling – will rarely end up well for any party involved.

*  Think of those less fortunate than yourself.

BUT MOST OF ALL

Learn to enjoy life.

So there we have it – step one of being happy.

So what makes me happy?  Feeding carrots to a horse, my husband just phoning to say he loves me, when the kids are not constantly bickering, having uncomplicated friends ……… little things …… the list is endless.

Whilst I was at it I googled “what do I do if I am bored”

Dear wikihow responed immediately:

“Pick your favorite TV, film, or book character, and imagine what they would do if they were with you right at that moment”  – now I can honestly say this is the most random piece of advice I have ever been given.

So I pick Jeremy Clarkson.

So what would Jeremy Clarkson do if he was bored?

He would pick up the phone and call Richard and James, and off they would flit to an amazingly funny and ridiculous adventure.  So maybe it wasnt such random advice, and believe me hanging out for a day with Jeremy, James and Richard sure would make me happy!!!!